I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You smell like stripper and shame
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
