Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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