wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
