I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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