i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
