the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Success! We fucked roommates!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
