Dual....:-)
We won't sleep together?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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