dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
