my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
