It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
