haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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