My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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