2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
