I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
