She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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