Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
