told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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