Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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