TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
