Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
