We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize