Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
