dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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