Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
