i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
dude. I can hear the air.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
