Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
