Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize