i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
