I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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