I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
