Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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