Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
