Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
