But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
