I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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