the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
