Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
