for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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