just come out here and I will go home with you...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
