i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
