i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
do herpes really smell.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
