Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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