I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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