whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
