I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize