smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize