i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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