the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
