Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
