I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
