Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize