How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
