She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
