I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize