also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
