But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
