You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
