Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
