The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
