After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
