oh god the rape fog is back!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
