i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
