His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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